The true measure of just how good looking and sexually appealing a woman is comes down to one test and one test only: would you drink her bath water? Give me Scarlett Johansson’s bath water and I’d have that thing drained faster than the swimming pool at Bushwood Country club. It’s no big deal.
MTV held their annual award show last night, and for the brief moment that I parked my remote control on the Twilight boner stroke gala, I was privy to a little girl on girl action. Sweet! But alas, the moment wasn’t what it seemed after the loving embrace came to an end, and the participants showed their faces. Oh my, is that you Scarlett Johansson? How fetching. But Sandra Bullock. Come on! I would have rather seen Betty White down on all fours doing her best Aristocrats impression than see Sandy doing anything remotely sexy.
There’s nothing better than a buxom red head in a bodysuit. It’s what I imagine a portly, shirt five sizes too small, 8-year old looks at a Snickers like. Except in Scarlett’s case, her almond joys are strikingly obvious even with her candy wrapping still on. Lunch time!
Tony Starks is back, and he’s brought a couple new friends along for the ride. None of whom I’m more excited to see wear spandex than Mickey Rourke Scarlett Johansson, who plays Black Widow. I’d still have sex with her even if I knew she was going to kill and devour me at the end. Circle of life I suppose.
Scarlett Johansson’s cleavage is definitely the 8th wonder of the world. She may be the only person around who can moon someone by just wearing a tank top. It’s like she’s hiding replica Dr. Evil heads in there. Jesus!
