Stephen Colbert really let Sarah Palin have it last night. Truer words haven’t been spoken since that fat girl who wheezes on the city bus exclaimed, “I guess he’s just not that into me!” about her crush. To think that this whackadoo could have been the Vice President of the United States is crazy! I wouldn’t even trust this broad to organize a proper ice fishing outing.

Recently, Sarah Palin was caught checking out crib notes on her hand at a Tea Party Convention Q+A session. Our Kitchen Sink has an exclusive photo showing exactly what the Madame Maverick had scrawled on her hand.  Kudos to her if she can play When the Saints Come Marching In.

Here are the opportunities you’re forced to consider when you’re a “celebrity,” but don’t have any discernible talents like acting/singing. In the case of Levi Johnston, the perpetual thorn in Sarah Palin’s “Going Rogue” ship, he has been offered 100k to spank it “to completion.”

Napoleon Dynamite said, “girls only like guys with skills.”  Here’s one feather in your cap that isn’t going to get you laid.  Being the solo whanker is like playing single A baseball.  It’s never a good look when you’re hoping to move up to the world of “salad tossing.”

(via)

If God is truly great, he’d let a Sarah Palin sextape end up on Harvey Levin’s doorstep. I’m sick of all these clearly staged sexual encounters. I wanna go rogue while I watch Mrs. Palin purge her inbox.

(via)

William Shatner is undoubtedly cooler than a polar bear’s toenail. Word on the street is that he can make a woman climax by just reading the ingredients from a pack of Top Ramen.

According to The Associated Press, Cathy Maples of Huntsville, Ala., won today’s Ebay auction with a $63,500 bid, earning the right to dine with Saran Palin, likely in Alaska.  Here’s what else you could purchase for that chunk of change if you’re a Sarah Palin backer.

5 Stuffed Moose Heads: 12k

10 Pairs of Authentic Sarah Palin Kazuo Kawasaki 704 Eyeglasses: 2,500k

100 Copies of The Idiots Guide to Geography: 1,300k

5 Root canals from Dr. Orly Taitz: 10k

500 Cases of Budweiser: 7,500k

100 Pairs of Confederate Zubaz Pants: 3k

10 Quality Tickets to the 2010 Daytona 500: 9k

250 Copies of the Final Season of Walker Texas Ranger: 6,500k

That may not add up to 63,500 k exactly, but all the remaining money can go toward various anti-abortion literature.

David Letterman found it necessary to respond to Sarah Palin’s knucklehead ass after she accused him of making “sexually perverted” jokes about her daughter. Letterman’s such a gangster he just does the jokes again.

Oh, why not get in on the fun with some old school snaps.

“Bristol Palin is like a shotgun, two cocks and she’s ready to blow.”

I simply can’t believe that this whackadoo was almost Vice President of the United States. She’s basically Francis McDormand from Fargo, with fancy glasses. Another thing I noticed is that apparently the Governor has a sofa made out of a grizzly bear. I would have guessed a cougar.

Many of you may have read my post last year about Barack Obama appearing in a Spider-Man comic before the inauguration. Now, Michelle Obama, will find her likeness in the pages of a comic as well.

The makers of Female Force, a series of comic books on inspiring and powerful females, are issuing an edition based on our new wonder First Lady. The issue will focus on Michelle’s journey from the South Side of Chicago to the White House. Female Force has already released issues on Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin, both of which sold out immediately. But, they are expecting an even larger reaction to Michelle’s. And why not? Through her intelligence, charity, and relatability, she has emerged as a true role model for our nation.