Let me just come out and say it: I watched this trailer with my pants off and I’m very happy with my decision. There’s nothing worse than a cotton Dockers roadblock when you’re trying to get to boner town. Anytime you have Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis kissing each other (which hopefully leads to them scissoring one another), it’s very important to have full range of motion.
Battlestations! Battlestations! We’ve got a major pain the tuchus that is leaving me a little verklempt. Natalie Portman doesn’t like playing Jewish characters in her movies. This is one step away from her hanging up her Star of David for good. Believe me, Madonna is not a consolation prize when it comes to losing a hot Israeli to the gentiles.
“I’ve always tried to stay away from playing Jews. I get like 20 Holocaust scripts a month, but I hate the genre.
You add a little Britney Spears to the faith and you’ve got people jumping ship like it’s the fuckin’ Titanic.
I’d like to imagine that in the first photograph Natalie Portman is some kind of naughty Robin Hood, and she’s willing to steal from the rich, and sleep with the poor. Mainly… me.
In a recent poll on the porn blog Fleshbot, “Jewish girls” ranked second among kinks (the winner: “freckles”). Details Magazine put together a piece proclaiming that Jews “have become the ethnic fetish du jour.”
This is where you have to invoke the Karen Hill Clause. The sex is going to be amazing, but there’s a 73 percent chance that you’ll wake up with a pistol in your face.
L’Chaim!
I’m tempted to make a cheesy reference between the name of the magazine, V for Vendetta, and my unbridled enthusiasm for Ms. Portman’s naughty bits. But I’m just not going to do it. She deserves a lot better than that. So I leave you with some kind words from Robert Frost.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Classic right here with Natalie Portman. “You shaved your head for V for Vendetta. Did you also shave your V for Vagina?”
