Joel Bradley has been suspended from Liverpool’s Cardinal Heenan High School for dealing crisps, which is in direct conflict with the schools meal reform policy.  When asked for comment, Bradley had this to say:

Please sir, I want some’more.

Britons are among the ugliest people in the world, according to a dating Web site that says it only allows “beautiful people” to join.  Fewer than one in eight British men and just three in 20 women who have applied to BeautifulPeople.com have been accepted, an e-mailed statement from the Web site showed.

The way that BeautifulPeople.com accepts new members is simple. A potential member applies with a photo and a brief profile. Over 48 hours, existing members of the opposite sex vote whether to admit him or her, the site said.

My question is, why if you’re supposedly “so attractive” are you resorting to online dating?  The only responsible answer can be that all of the women have penises, and all of the men have the clap.  Don’t fret England, beautifulpeople.com is a nation of people still trying to perfect Blue Steel.

(via)

So, basically, Brits are so fat these days that they’re being told that Homer Simpson’s diet is better than theirs.

Okay. I’m lying. What’s really going on is that Channel 4’s Change4Life campaign is going to run some spots before Simpsons episodes that somehow promote the idea that they shouldn’t eat like Homer. Because, you know, people need to be told that.

Said Public Health minister Gillian Merron: “The Simpsons are a much-loved, close-knit family facing some of the everyday challenges that modern day families go through.”

She went on to say that her family often deals with “everyday” issues like her husband bankrupting his long-lost brother’s successful car company, her son’s desire to jump Springfield Gorge on his skateboard, and her son’s high school principal co-opting the name and identity of a former commanding officer.