Today marks the first major league start for pitching phenom Stephen Strasburg of the Washington Nationals, who is being billed as the pitching prospect of his generation (I’ll wait while the fantasy geeks out there feverishly try to add him to their ragtag bunch dubbed Chico’s Bail Bonds). If this sounds eerily familiar to those of you who ever fraught over the impending W or L flag that hung from the pole at Wrigley, then you probably remember a fella named Mark Prior… and how you wanted, and still want to punch him in the groin.
It looks like someone at the Tribune had a little fun with the birth announcement section after the sale of the Cubs was finalized.
Suki and Justa Crapi Yeare of Chicago’s north side are proud to announce the birth of our daughter, Waitle Nex, born Thursday, August 20th in Los Angeles. The entire Yeare family eagerly awaits her arrival back in Chicago. The first Waitle Nex Yeare was born in Chicago in 1909. It’s too bad great-great-grandma isn’t around to see her namesake.
Baby Waitle was born several weeks premature but is somehow perfectly healthy. Doctors tell us that the chip on Waitle’s shoulder will wear down over the winter and she will be 100% healthy by spring. You should see how cute she looks with the albatross necklace around her neck.
One of my favorite shows on ESPN, besides Sportscenter, and just in front of hearing Joe Morgan complain about baseball and applaud his mustache, is Pardon the Interruption (PTI). If you’re not familiar with this program, chances are you’re a eunuch. Commonly Wilbon and Kornheiser like to debate endzone dances, bigger d-bag fans (the Sawks and the Yanks), and why LeBatard chooses to show his chest hair on national television. Here’s a bit of a toss up Our Kitchen Sink style.
FICTIONAL PITCHERS
Chet “Rocket” Steadman vs. Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn
The ultimate battle of experience versus youth. While Steadman has been a serviceable pitcher for years, he let his arm go for the benefit of the Cubs. Vaughn has a sorted past, having spent time playing in the California Penal League. What it really comes down to is the intangibles.
Better nickname has to go to Wild Thing because he gets the fancy entrance music when he enters ballgames, and has a sweet leather vest.
Better accessory goes to Steadman’s mustache (which Joe Morgan absolutely hates), which the wardrobe department modeled as a hybrid based off of Craig Stadler and the Beastie Boys from their Sabotage days. Again, we’re at a stale mate.
How would the PTI guys score this one? I got it!
Facial hair discussion plus love of Chicago sports = Chet Steadman
Steve Bartman, an accidental icon of Chicago Cubs futility, is getting thrust into the spotlight once more.
ESPN announced Wednesday that it has commissioned a one-hour documentary on Bartman, the Cubs fan whose attempt to catch a foul ball late in Game 6 of the 2003 National League Championship series was cast as some kind of catalyst in the long-hamstrung team’s eventual collapse that year.
The revisiting of the Bartman incident and a look at its ugly legacy by Alex Gibney, writer-director of the Oscar-nominated “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room” and the Academy Award-winning “Taxi to the Dark Side,” will be part of ESPN’s “30 for 30″ series.
According to ESPN, Gibney will attempt to answer the question: Can Bartman ever forgive Chicago?
The short answer, Chicago can never forgive Bartman. But the truth is, he didn’t lose the game for the Cubs, I witnessed them fold during game 6 and game 7 like a card table. It’s not his fault, blame Alex Gonzalez’s gaff that would have lead to a sure-fire double play.
(sorry for all the vids, images are still non existent like Reno’s sex life)
It can’t get any weirder than that, can it? You have no idea.
CLINT BARMES: Broken Collerbone
The then-rookie shortstop first said it was a trip down the stairs that caused his trip to the emergency room. But a few weeks later, he fessed up to the scandalous truth: He was carrying deer meat that teammate Todd Helton had given him.
SI asked 380 MLB players which manager they would least like to play for. Players could not vote for their own current managers. Four of these managers have won World Series titles.
As if the Chicago Cubs didn’t already have enough going against them, add the humane society to that ever growing CURSE.
So a cat ran on to Wrigley Field during a game last night, was chased Keystone-Cops-style by security guards, scratched and nipped its captors, and was eventually hoisted by its tail and unceremoniously lowered into the stands. The cat survived and the game went on, but the tail-grabbing has created a bit of an uproar among people who were at the game or watching on TV. Today the video is fast making its way around the Internet. On a comment board on the Chicago Tribune’s Web site, one reader wrote: “Grabbed the cat by his tail? This groundskeeper should be hung up by HIS TAIL.” Many others came to the cat grabber’s defense: “He did what he had to do … get over it.”
Chicago police say they found the severed head of a goat outside Wrigley Field early Monday morning, about 12 hours before the scheduled Cubs home opener. For those of you not familiar with the GOAT curse on the Cubs, here’s a brief rundown.
On Oct. 6, 1945, the Billy Goat Curse was cast upon the Cubs when tavern owner Billy Sianis bought a box seat for his goat, Murphy, for Game 4 of the World Series at Wrigley Field to help promote his establishment. When he was ordered to remove the goat, he claimed to place a curse on the team that would prevent it from ever hosting another World Series at Wrigley Field.
