Being a professional athlete has to the be the second best profession around, deferring only to the person who paints bikinis on the swimsuit models.  But what about those poor saps who may have a Massaroti, may have a big ol’ house where they eat shrimp cocktail and tivo Sportscenter, but have a name that sounds like an infectious disease?  Let’s explore, but be sure to wear your hazmat suit.

I’m sorry, sir.  It’s far worse than cancer.  You’ve got D’Brickashaw Ferguson.  Symptoms include hunch back,  and the sprouting of large yellow horns.  I think Mr. Ferguson’s mother meant to name him “thatbrickisaw,” which is what led to her concussion, and her son’s subsequent name.

And don’t think these athlete name diseases don’t travel below the belt.  Case in point, Dick Trickle.  Are you serious?  Let’s like having a name like Johnny Pre-Cum.  I’ll take herpes, but I want nothing to do with contracting the dick trickle.  A rampant dick trickle definitely calls for some type of raincoat for your nuts.

They even have a disease that causes you to shape shift.  The Takeo Spikes.  Either that, or it’s a hightly advanced stage of hemmroids.  With the Takeo Spikes, going number 2 is about as pleasent as 69ing with a weed whacker.

Stay tuned next week where we explore names of athletes that also would be places I’d like to live.