What a way to start a triple digit weather day in the San Fernando Valley! The promo shots of Emmanuelle Chriqui for Entourage are a scorcher. You’ve gotta love a woman whose last name sounds like the primal screams during a rendezvous behind a taco truck on set.
Here’s one for the ladies and gentlemen who lurk on this blog in search of tasteless quips like:
losing your virginity is messy.
be sure to use a lubricant when trying to enter her bunny.
is it as serious an offense when vampires cross streams as when the Ghostbuster’s do it?
white people.
The Brits certainly know how to pick their cover models.: big breasted red heads that have an affinity for wearing cone shaped brassieres. If you’re wondering what’s the difference between GQ and British GQ, I think it has something to do with whether or not they photoshop the teeth and if there’s advertisements for mincemeat pies in the issue.
Well… the conspiracy theorists can stick this in their pipe and smoke it. After it’s long since been rumored that Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry were the same person, a photograph has surfaced which shows the two together. Isn’t this how one of the Back to the Future plots goes. But I digress. Zooey looks smokin’ hot and we all know my feelings on Katy Perry. If you’re having trouble telling the two apart, the one on the left with play you old 45’s, and the one one the right will lick your popsicle.
There comes a time in every man’s life when he stops being able to place a pretty name with a pretty face. Let’s just call it popular culture dementia. This is such a case. I know that Blake Lively is:
- famous
- cute
- blonde
Yet the first leaves me stumped to why she’s famous. She’s holding a surfboard, but I’m almost certain she doesn’t compete in athletics. She’s far too good looking for those exploits.
Politician? Porn Star? Drill baby drill mean two completely different things in this natural juice procurement flux.
Then she must be an actress. Ain’t she pretty?
Let’s face it. Girls these days are influenced by popular culture. Even if they don’t admit it, they’ve all dressed up like Lady Gaga at least once and sang Poker Face into their hairbrush (then had an uber erotic pillow fight with an all-girl Swedish rock band). P P P P Poker Face. These are the style icons of the day: ladies longing to be other ladies who are androgynous and may more may not have a Ray Finkle.
Meet Cary Mulligan. If you’re not familiar with this charming little minx, I’m glad… she’s all mine.
More Mila is like having more cowbell, you can never have too much. And this particular spread is extra saucy, given the cowgirl “ride me” beautiful connotations. If she’s not the most beautiful woman in Hollywood, then she’s easily the most photogenic.
Nerd boners rejoice! Everyone’s favorite “I wish she’d come play Dungeons and Dragons with me then make me a pizza bagel” hottie, Olivia Munn, is on the cover of the latest issue of Complex. If I were ever going to try to describe to someone what thoughts ran through my head while I was in the throngs of puberty, it would definitely involve a gorgeous woman riding a cartoon unicorn. Don’t judge me.
Sure, she’s 35-years-old. But finding out that Danica McKellar, better known as Winnie Cooper, is pregnant makes me feel like I’m officially not a child anymore. Like I need to be worried about adult issues, like health care reform so I can get a cootie shot booster.
If you were a kid growing up in the 80’s, Winnie Cooper was the girl you wished lived down the block from you, instead of that old guy who liked to air dry in his front yard. Here’s hoping that in a Peter Pan world, Topanga is still without child.
I’m a firm believer that every person has a spirit animal. Why? Because it sounds fuckin’ bad ass! Like one day when a bunch of ruffians have you cornered in a dark alley, you can harness the power of your inner cobra or mustang. In the case of Amanda Seyfriend, she’s definitely a frog. I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, some people really end up looking like their spirit animal. And in my case, my personality is what determines my animal… a weasel.
