I’m all for creative expression in whichever medium floats your proverbial boat, but it seems like shocking fashion is becoming the norm. Take Elena Burenina’s collection that she just showed at Kiev Fashion Week. I have two explanations for how someone could come up with something so stupid.
1. This is how a toddler would describe walking in on his parents having sex. “Mommy was there. Daddy was under the covers. His legs were poking out. There was a blankey. Mommy was putting her head between Daddy’s legs”
2. This is what the delivery room looked like when Octomom was giving birth. Limbs protruding out of her vagina like it was a mighty oak tree trying to lay down roots.
Poor Sandra Bullock. Even her undeserved Oscar win isn’t going to soften this shocking revelation. It seems that her husband, Jesse James, was cheating on her with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee while Bullock was in Atlanta shooting The Blind Side. Normally I’m all about the painted ladies, but this broad looks like having sex with her would be like sticking your pecker in the corroded hole on a bad graffiti wall.
I posted a little teaser trailer about Four Lions a couple months back, but now here’s the full trailer. The concept for this movie is probably the most unique and taboo subject you can touch right now. Billed as a terrorist farce, it follows a group of suicide bombers who look like they belong in Police Academy instead of Al Qaeda.
Day one of the NCAA tournament may be the greatest sporting day of the year. But unlike the Super Bowl which is nestled on a cozy Sunday in between a breakfast beer and an afternoon of chicken wings, March Madness always starts on a Thursday. And if you’re like most sports loving saps, you’re probably stuck at the office finger fucking the hell out of a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet. Here are a few tips for watching the tournament while at work.
Danish artist Nina Maria Kleivan seeks to explore the meaning of evil by photographing her baby dressed as evil men from recent history. This includes Hitler, Idi Amin, Augusto Pinochet, Sadam Hussein, Stalin, Mao and Mussolini. I’d assume that if she was American she would have included The Green Bay Packers, Donald Sterling and the makers of the Snuggie.
Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis is arguably is the funniest thing on the internet. But the real test of time comes when he invites Ben Stiller on his program. Why? Because Ben Stiller makes me laugh slightly less than watching someone suffer from terminal cancer.
The Commander in Chief weighs in with his picks for March Madness. It’s in these casual moments when you really realize how cool and smooth Obama is. I take great solace in knowing that our President could stop a war by seducing a fanatical but hot terrorist. Head HERE for a visual breakdown of his picks.
Don’t ask me how I came up with this analogy. It came to me in a vision/mythical voice similar to the one Ray heard in Field of Dreams. “If you blog it, they will come.” If only that was a true sentiment about blowjobs instead of web hits, then I’d be the sexual Svengali. And away we go.
THE MONKEY BARS
The type of woman who always wants you to hold something, like her purse or your step son who you clearly don’t love… And has obnoxious freckles… And blows milk bubbles. Fuck you, Rupert!
Also, any woman who insists you perform arduous tasks like cleaning the gutters or taking out the garbage. You can kick all you want, but you’re just gonna end up falling on your ass. On a submissive side note, I’d hold Gisele’s colostomy bag if she asked me to.
Here’s some dug of footage that features Geraldine Brezca having fun with the slate on the set of Inglourious Basterds. When I watched it the first time, I was instantly enamored with her ability to come up with flowery words on the spot, but after watching it a second time I realized there was some method to her madness.
Another freebie from the Shaolin. The Wu Massacre hits stores April 30th, and is a must have for any fan of the three most notable emcees from Wu Tang.
