The date was June 12, 2004. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were on the precipice of turning 18, thus making you feel a little less dirty about having fantasies about the girls who made “you got it dude!” into a cultural phenomenon.  They were so blonde.  So wholesome.  So…twins!  Rolling Stone even dubbed them “America’s Favorite Fantasy.”  I suppose that was a better headline than “Jailbait.”

Jesus!  What the hell happened?  It’s like they were attacked by gypsies, trannies, or a group of freegans who tried to harvest their hair for pillowcases.  They went from the high school cheer captains, to the creepy girls who practice Wicken.  I suppose when you’re worth that much money, and were forced to endure endless takes of Dave Coulier as Ranger Joe, or had to smell Stephanie Tanner freebasing, it could cause anyone to crack.

Something tells me that if you ever managed to get one of these girls naked, they’d look exactly like Johnny and Cobra Kai from Karate Kid.