I’m a fantasy nerd. There I said it. Whew! For the last seven years of my life I’ve been adding, dropping, and stalking around the waiver wire like a base head looking for his next hit. For the most part, my fantasy experience has been pretty positive, even managing to take home the fantasy football crown last year. But this year… that’s a different story completely.

After a 50 point drubbing yesterday, life at the bottom of my 12 team fantasy football league is pretty lonely. When a real life team fails it’s usually marred by performance enhancers, sexual scandals, and turf toe. But in virtual sports there are no such distractions. The fact of the matter is that I drafted a bunch of pussies who seem to have performance anxiety on Sunday’s that rivals Jim from American Pie.  There really should be some type of option where you can put a hapless fantasy team out of its own misery.  Maybe there could be some cross-platform action and I could start my fantasy basketball team in place of my fantasy football team.  I bet Dirk Nowitzki would be one hell of a tight end.