The big news out of the NBA isn’t that Ron Artest is changing his last name to “mohawk.” Rather, it’s that standout Houston Rocket center Yao Ming may miss all of next season, and perhaps never play again.  It seems that Yao Ming has temperamental bones, which immediately eliminates him from the porn industry after his playing days.  Is there anything more fragile than Yao’s feet?

MR. GLASS

I think this is a given.  Samuel L. Jackson was supposed to be so soft that it was written into the script that he was capable of spraining his afro.   Yao’s feet may be soft, but shampoo won’t cause him a trip onto the DL.

A FIELD GOAL KICKERS CONFIDENCE

Scott Norwood still hasn’t shook off his crucial Super Bowl miss.  To this day he hasn’t left the house, and his only communication with the outside world is via the internet, where he has online Battleship games with J.D. Salinger.

CHRISTIAN BALE D.D.S

I thought mailmen were fragile, but I guess the rigors of juggling an acting career and dealing with impacted wisdom teeth can really send a guy over the edge.