Due to the recent success of the film The Hangover, and because I have a 30 rack of Miller Lite in the fridge waiting for me to devour like a parched Wildabeast, I thought I would pull a couple strange hangover remedies from under the sink.

LEMON IN THE ARMPITS

It seems that this one comes from Puerto Rico and involves rubbing a slice of lemon or lime under your Buckwheat BEFORE you start boozing. I’m fresh out of produce, so I’m just planning to bathe in a bath combination of Sprite and Mountain Dew.  I already do use lemon-scented pledge as cologne.  Good to go!

DRINK YOUR SWEAT

According to the BBC (yes I do muckrake not just make shit up), Native Americans would run around until they would get sweaty. Then lick up their sweat and spit it out to rid themselves of the poison.  Word on the street is that French girls swallow.

VOODOO

Haitian voodoo suggests sticking 13 pins in the offending bottle.  When did Haiti become so posh, we drink CANS around here.