I don’t know what it is about those kids from Bel-Air or Bayside, but they sure do love taking drugs. I guess the pressures of having a wacky cousin who’s “west Philadelphia born and raised,” or not making it to the Max for a root beer float will cause anyone to crack.  Oh shit, I said “crack.”  Now we’re going to have Todd Bridges hanging around all day.  Security!

I finally figured out why she’s so damn excited. She just got word that she landed the leading part in a certified blockbuster. Showgirls.

The lesson we learn from this is that Carlton acts exactly the same when he’s not on drugs, only it’s okay to laugh when he’s dancing to “It’s Not Unusual” by Tom Jones.

Tootie is just buggin. We all know she used to get high high high in the Facts of Life house.

In conclusion, the drug of choice amongst fictional characters like Jesse Spano, Carlton Banks, and Alex P. Keaton is speed. And… I still have the overwhelming urge to punch Tina Yothers in the face whenever I see her.